Dating your friends?

friends datingAre you dating friends? Some people say that being in the friend zone is like that of being in a Twilight Zone – just so hard to get out once you are in it. But exactly is a friend zone?  This is a situation within the friendship where one party develops a higher level of feelings for the other and wants to become more than a friend with the other party. In most cases, the other party is not aware of the intensified feeling of the other or desires to have a strict friendship only relationship between the two of them. In turn, this makes that one party “stuck” in the “friend zone ” as one does not know how to move forward in the relationship. This feeling can be very frustrating as one wants more than what he/she already have but does not know how to achieve this goal.

If you are stuck in this zone, don’t fret, there are many of you out there still trying to calculate possible moves to get out of this relationship dilemma. Here are some of the tips to move forward with the relationship. 

.      friends with benefits

      Be clear with the directions you are heading.


Ask yourself on where so you really want the relationship to go. Do you really want this friendship to move up and become a romantic relationship that you are dreaming of? What if you fail in your move? Are you willing to sacrifice the friendship that you have already established? These are the questions that you have to resolve before you move forward with taking other steps. Are you willing to lose the friendship in case your moving forward is not what was envisioned by the other party? If you can move heaven and hell to have this relationship move up, then you are already on your way to doing what it takes to follow the desires of your heart. This so that you and your friend can really start dating.

2.       Test the waters, ask for help.

To verify your moves, ask the help of those who are close to you and your friend. This could be a relative or a mutual friend of yours who can help you assess the situation if the other party is ready to make the next move or if you are just wasting your time and should remain contented in the friend zone.

3.       Be intense and be not intense.

couple kissing

 If you are really feeling it you just have to move up, plan your moves well and do it. Just that in executing your plans to make her/him fall in love with you, do not look pathetic and desperate. Nobody wants to fall in love with a pathetic loser but everybody wants the romantic guy that you are. Have plans to open up your emotions to the other party as to let the other party know that you want to move up. If the other party already knows but doesn’t want to budge, do serious moves which will make him or her see you in a different light?  This can be done by making yourself more attractive physically and emotionally. Are you the best person you can be.


        Take out the guns and shoot it.


The moment that you are all waiting for is the confrontation. There is nothing more confusing than a relationship that is ambiguous. You have already prepared yourself for this so at once you can formally ask your friend if you can step out of the friend zone. Clear your throat and start divulging you truest feelings so then you and your friend can start dating.

Carole Payne

Carole Payne, 27 years, life coaching, advice, and tips

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