Are you the best person you can be?

So you have been in the online dating scene for a while now. Your goal is to meet a meet a loving partner utilizing dating sites. However, after a series of online dates and meet-ups, you have not yet met the partner of your dreams. What went wrong? In the past,  you have been doing all that is necessary to initiate and maintain relationships. Yet, everything seems not to be working so well after a number of relationships. It seems that self – help tips that you got were not working that much.

For some going through the notions of breakups and dating becomes a way of life. Yet, one must have that in order to be successful in a relationship we have to look at ourselves first. Initially, in order to be successful in having dates, one might be fully concentrated on how to look pleasing outwardly then, getting to know the potential partner. But how about our own self,  our true self?

Am I  the best person that I can be?  This should be the first question that you should answer. In relation to that, you should answer the following questions on What are your goals in life? Are happy with your life and your career right now? Are you confident in your abilities? What makes you happy? All of these questions will lead to you figuring out how you can improve yourself.

You need to know that you are in the best of who you are right now so that you can love yourself. You can be more effective in a relationship if you have realized your goals and you have achieved your self – improvement goals.


Set out a goal for yourself

You have to be clear on what you’re improving on,  whether it’s your capabilities or your emotional and spiritual well – being to becoming the best version of yourself. This life is not well – lived if you just follow the shadow of others or if you chose to live based on what was dictated to you. Try to set standards on what do you really set out to do to be the best. Keeping the goal in mind can help you be your best self when your current circumstances aren’t ideal — yet.


Learn to accept your failures

It is not at all times that you will achieve what you have set – out for. There is always a period of failure. However, we were taught that failure is not acceptable thus most of us are so afraid of failing. What is important is that we recognize that this failure is not the end of it all but just part of the process. While relationship failure from online dating can often be the most painful of all the failures, it is also a venue to learn so much and grow. Relationship failure leads to success in future relationships as well as in life.


Be more positive in your outlook on life

Thinking that people are just either positive thinkers or negative thinkers is not totally correct. Being positive is a skill that can be taught. You should relearn to become more positive in your dealings in life. Like in online dating, one should be positive even if you have experienced numerous failures. Learn to find the good in what you have experienced. Everything is a learning experience whether good or bad and you can learn so much from the bad experiences. Every time you fail in a relationship, you learn something new about your how you were in the relationship. It could be that you are too insecure, too needy, too bossy, or too distant. It is good to reflect on what was your contribution to the breakup

Be healthy holistically

Without a healthy body, it will be very difficult to achieve to achieve your maximum potential. Areas that you need to improve on will be your diet, activity, stress reduction and emotional well-being. Further on you should develop your spirituality by being having a deep sense of belief on a Higher Being or extraordinary belief in yourself.   Maintaining your health is a way to treasure yourself. It shows how you care for yourself and this is a good venue to practice how you will be caring for your partner later on. You cannot invest in another individual well of if you have not invested in yourself.


Build and maintain significant relationships

To feel emotionally secure, take risks and be happy in life, you need an emotional support to go through life and be successful in it. It most likely that without the support of others, you might not be able to take the risks and make changes to become the best version of yourself. Learn a lot from people who have overcome intense challenges and see how they have turned themselves around in the face of adversities.


Carole Payne

Carole Payne, 27 years, life coaching, advice, and tips

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